Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
