his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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