ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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