My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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