people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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