Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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