some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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