I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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