As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
