omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's never too late to be topless.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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