whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
