Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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