i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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