i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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