Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
