Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't think brook has ever known best
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
