Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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