Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
