Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
