so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
