that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
