i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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