dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
MIDGETS
????
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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