Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
