i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize