it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
