as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
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Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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