Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
