He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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