Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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