At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
whose parrot is this?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
