Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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