You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
