so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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