this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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