You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
