some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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