Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Blood and glitter go together right?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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