she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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