he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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