What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
