so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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