I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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