ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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