How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Panties = found
Randomize
