This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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