Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize