Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
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Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
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Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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