i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
