Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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