Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
