He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
