Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
