Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
