I didn't shave. On purpose
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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