I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
