I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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