he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
