found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
