I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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