you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize