OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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