windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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