Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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