she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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